Farm Stories #478
Warning: gross farming story (medical stuff)

So, last night Hope (11) and I slept up in the barn to keep an eye on Dimples, our ewe who is due to lamb any time now. We watch her extra closely because she has a medical problem where her insides poke out of her rear orifices late in pregnancy. Sometimes they reach the size of a cantaloupe. It's rather horrifying. We aren't going to breed her again as a result, but for now we have to get through to the birth. It's intermittent, mostly when she's been laying down. She starts straining and groaning, presumably because her body tells her it's a lamb sticking out. This is not good for her so she has to wear a special harness with a device that keeps her insides where they belong.
The problem with this is that when she really does go into labor, if we aren't there to remove it, she and her lambs will likely die. We don't want this, obviously, so we have to check on her often. We removed the prolapse harness yesterday evening because it looked like she might lamb. In the night I got up every time I heard birthing type sounds. It's amazing how many grunty-groany noises a barn full of pregnant sheep can make just laying down resting. At 2 am the racket really kicked up to definite labor levels. I got out of my warm sleeping bag, put on my outer layer of clothes and checked on Dimples again.
No lambs, just another giant bout of prolapse. I tied her up and grabbed a bucket of water to splash onto her protruding innards while rubbing them with my hand to remove the worst of the manure and bedding she had been lying in. Using both hands, because that much of her vagina had emerged, I attempted to push it back inside. The increased pressure caused her to feel the need to bear down, so she strained mightily to push it right back out. As a result, an additional handful of her colon squeezed out. Gah! I attempted numerous times to return it all to its rightful place, but without success. After a bit I took a break. On my return she had settled a little and I was able to funnel her vagina back inside using both hands and hold it with one while putting her colon back inside with the other. Then I attempted to hold them both in with one hand while I placed the plastic retainer inside her.
Unfortunately, it will pop right back out if not fully strapped in. Somehow I managed to hold it in with one hand and a knee, while holding her against the wall with the other knee while applying the harness with the other hand and possibly my teeth. I'm not sure. Anyway, I got the contraption on her and buckled tight and turned her loose. Unfortunately I didn't notice until afterward that my injured shoulder which I'm in the middle of "resting" no longer felt very rested. Apparently lambing time is just not a good time for giving up the use of my dominant arm for weeks on end.
Heading back to my sleeping bag I noticed that my hands were very sticky and odoriferous. Washing them in plain cold water, which is the only kind I have in my barn, I realized that as a farmer, I frequently practice not touching my face. Useful skill in a pandemic. Since my daughter wouldn't appreciate waking up in the dark barn alone, going to the house was not a great option, especially since I knew I might have to wake up in another couple of hours to do it all again if Dimples managed to scrape the harness off. She didn't so I got to sleep until the rooster started in at 4 am and maybe even a little more between "songs."
I woke up to my daughter, who slept like a baby through all of it, telling me how fun this was and how she can't wait to do it again tonight and maybe every night. I did very much enjoy the part I spent with her. I like midwifing the sheep too, but I could do without the gynecology / proctology sessions.






